the real McCoy

05Aug08

om nom nom nom nom

Despite the fact that I live in the throbbing cosmopolitan heart of the Tri-Cities Tennessee area, quality ethnic food is not as easy to come by as one might suppose. Even though we do possess a multitude of families from other countries (maybe twenty, not counting my own), there’s not a huge selection of non-American, or non-Americanized, restaurants to choose from.* And while I’m not trying to hate here – I used to daydream about cheese-laden enchiladas during particularly kimchi-heavy days in Korea – I have long wanted to learn about more “authentic” Mexican food, the kind with higher quantities of lard. I sought my dream in vain, I thought, until my dream found me, and revealed its name: Volcanoes Bakery The Real McCoy, home of the best tortas I have ever eaten.

Volcanoes Bakery The Real McCoy (full name, no punctuation necessary) is somewhat hidden, and as such, it’s not big on atmosphere. Our rule of thumb generally follows the idea that a small restaurant size and dingy atmosphere correlates with high quality food.** By this standard, VBTRM ought to have a Michelin star by its name. There are approximately five seats on the inside and two picnic tables in front; decor consists exclusively of silk flowers and copies of the evangelical magazine Awake! The outside isn’t a great deal better. I was describing it to Miguk Grandma and she furrowed her brow and said, “I think I’ve seen it. Does it look like a shack?”

Fortunately, a bite of the pastor torta may lead one to go blind with bliss. I have never been a huge torta person, but eating this one – with its crusty edges, salty-sweet pork and pineapple, creamy beans, massive white chunks of queso, pickled jalapenos, are you sold yet? – accomplished the dual feat of helping me to embrace the torta and totally extinguishing any desire I have to make it at home. Tortas cost $5.25. They consist of at least ten ingredients, many of which benefit from individual preparation, and bread that I don’t know how to bake. Economies of scale say that I cannot make this better, which is okay, because Volcanoes is about fifteen minutes away.

The other items they have are good too, of course. Five different tamales are on offer, as well as albondigas, caldo de pollo, the kind of tacos that come in tiny corn tortillas with lime and cilantro, and, needless to say, at least four other kinds of tortas. I keep telling myself that I’ll order one of those next time. But honestly, I doubt my willpower.

I’ve heard rumors of a Thai restaurant operated out of somebody’s house on a back road in the next county over and a Cuban sandwich place working out of the restaurant supply store on Browns Mill Road. Maybe there’s hope for this city after all.

*I am being a little facetious. We do have a couple of high-end Asian places and, weirdly, three Cajun restaurants. But we’re not talking New York or SF here. Really, we’re not even talking Knoxville.

**Do we tell ourselves the food is good in order to compensate for the atmosphere? I think not, but I don’t know. Maybe someday I will do a blindfold test.

pros cheap, delicious, no-atmosphere-street-cred chic

cons fatty

Volcanoes Bakery The Real McCoy

1011 West Market Street, Johnson City

10-2 MT, 10-2/4-8 Th F S, closed W/Su

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Tags: Johnson City, Mexican, restaurants, tortas, Volcanoes Bakery